DIY Surgery

I decided to make yesterday a van Gogh day. To be more specific, I painted with watercolours which I had purchased the day before, and I cut off part of my ear.
For a very long time now there has been a slight growth on the back of my left ear. For the past couple of months I have had this desire to rid myself of it once and for all, but never quite got up the gumption to go through with it. Yesterday, as I was preparing to descend the stairs to my abode, I grabbed the sharpest knife I could from the kitchen, a little plastic cup full of cotton balls, a bottle of isopropyl alcohol, a glass of ice cubes, and a bunch of band-aids.

Sitting on my bed I rubbed an ice cube back and forth over the back of my ear. Eventually I came to the conclusion that it was probably just hardened skin, and didn't have all that many nerves in it anyway. I grabbed knife, cotton, and alcohol, and walked to the basement bathroom.
Before I walked in I wisely stripped down to my skivvies. I remembered that a) head wounds bleed profusely, and b) I don't like blood on my clothes. Staring in the mirror I bent my ear and awkwardly positioned the knife. As you can see by the picture of the aftermath below, it was not a small one.

As you can see, I have the tiniest bathroom. Also: yes, that is a lot of blood.

I'd just like to make it clear that I sterilized the knife and the area I was about to cut. Just making that clear.

In spite of the fact that it was the sharpest knife I could find, it was surprisingly dull. I made an incision but only ended up making a slight cut in the skin. With the state of the blade as it was, I actually had to make a sort of sawing motion, moving both my ear and the knife back and forth against each other.

Finally I was able to remove most of said growth. I then set it aside and got to staunching the wound. It bled and it bled and it bled. I alternated between soaking up the blood with alcohol-dampened cotton balls and rubbing ice over it. And still it continued to bleed.

Eventually I got sick of my own blood getting everywhere and but a band-aid over it. The blood still leaked out, but eventually it managed to clot a little, so that was good.

I cleaned up the sink, put some clothes on, Skyped a friend. After a while I got to removing the bandage (and the scab that had grown) and it started bleeding again. So I grabbed more cotton and soaked up more blood and finally put on another band-aid.

This morning all is well. I actually don't think it's infected, and it doesn't really hurt at all. Life is good.